A New Beginning

There is some news I am so excited to share…I am starting a new chapter in my life and collegiate career by transferring to University of Colorado Boulder!!

Deciding to transfer was a decision that I had made much earlier this semester, around the time of spring break. It was during this weekend while out of town visiting some friends that a difficult realization came upon me: I just wasn’t happy. I am a very positive person who always strives to see the good in things and will continually put my hope in them, but ultimately, I was suddenly faced with the reality of what I was feeling deeper inside (something that I had actually been feeling for a long time). I felt that God was making clear to me that it was time for a change. While many other aspects have contributed to this decision, in essence, the struggles I have dealt with during my time at NC State surmounted into a weight that I felt I could not escape the burden of, and there were too many associations in the environment that would prevent me from feeling like I could heal and return to genuinely feeling like myself again. I simply needed a fresh start. 

I entered the transfer portal looking for a location where I would enjoy where I run everyday, have a team to train with, coaches who I could learn from and trust to keep me healthy with their training philosophies, and overall a place where I felt like I would belong. I was very fortunate and thankful that I was still able to compete for NC State during the outdoor season as I began the transfer process. Because of this, I declined any media reporting upon entering the portal, because I wanted the focus to remain on doing my best in representing NC State for one last season and being fully present with my teammates to make the most of my time left with the Wolfpack! Unfortunately, this endeavor was cut short halfway through the season due to another injury. This was heartbreaking; but if I’m being honest, it also provided a measure of relief, because I was still in the midst of intense struggle during this time. Also, the blessing in disguise was that I was able to start taking visits earlier than anticipated, and this helped me keep my head up as I looked forward to a brand new beginning on the horizon. 

It was daunting to be back searching for a college; but once again, I was amazed by the opportunities I found before me and especially by the abundance of incredible people I got to know throughout the process! Ultimately, after taking visits to a few schools (all of which were remarkable programs, and I was truly so impressed by each in their own unique ways!!), CU not only checked all the boxes, but stood out as the one that made me feel the most at home. This was the kind of place where I have no doubt that I would be happy, even if I wasn’t running. Although, it’s important to note that I believe this change of environment will have a large impact on both my physical and mental health, so that I can better ensure that I will be happy AND running healthy, so that I can use up the years of eligibility I still have! 

The unknown can be scary, and such a big change can feel like a risk, but it is also exactly this kind of leap that makes me feel more secure than ever, knowing that I am taking agency in giving myself the chance to bring forth better things. So many times I have sat down in reflection and declared over myself “out with the old, in with the new”; but sometimes it takes more than willing a mindset to enact legitimate change. Sometimes it takes a change in environment to actually break free from the old ways and discover hope for the best by necessitating recreation within certain areas of your life. 

I do not regret coming to NC State or for staying as long as I did, because I have had some great experiences and have been blessed by many people within the NC State community. Additionally, I can be at peace knowing that I truly gave everything to try making it work. I think it could have been a very different story if I began my college experience under different circumstances, but I have chosen to embrace the imperfection of my story and how it can never be changed. I will look back at the past only long enough to learn from it; aside from that, I will keep my eyes forward, because that’s where the light of life is. Once again I will say that I have hope now more than ever, but differently than before–because I am finally putting tangible action behind my words–I believe that there is a different weight to this statement in regard to how my life will demonstrate its impact. This is a new beginning. It’s not rewriting the story, it’s building upon the greater story of the unique path set before me, which I believe is being reconciled/rerouted to the place where I always should have been: a place where I can be fully myself, full of joy, and free to shine! 

Go Buffs!!