Recently, I announced a professional contract with NNormal, which basically means that I get paid to run. It’s easy to see how a contract would change my life–the added financial stability, increased ability to travel to races, larger support system, expansive training and content opportunities–but, despite the tangible ways in which this contract changed my life, it is one of the smallest ways in which running has impacted me.
As a high schooler, I was shy and lacked self-confidence, but running provided me with an arena where I could thrive; when I was running, I never lacked confidence and at practice and competitions, my shy nature disappeared. As an Alaskan, it’s expensive and daunting to go to college out of state, but running provided me with the luxury of choosing my dream school and arriving there with a built-in friend group (the team). As a collegiate, the hilly-and-at-altitude long runs, hard track sessions, and extensive threshold runs hardened me against hard things, and made life’s challenges conquerable.
Of course, some of those challenges were brought on by running. As a middle schooler, media and stereotypes convinced me that I needed to keep my body small to be a successful runner. My love for running, and for winning, drove me to tightly control everything I ate, leading to a long battle with an eating disorder. As a professional runner, the high intensity training and long miles (coupled with undernourishment) lead to injury after injury, forcing me to re-examine my love for running again and again. Eventually, I realized that my love for running trumped my desire to look like a runner, and I entered treatment for my ED.
Running has changed my life by creating opportunities, taking them away, and then helping me see and design a path forward. I used to think that running was a perfect metaphor for life because, if I put a lot of work in, I would see improvement and successful. In reality, running is a perfect metaphor for life because, if I put a lot of work in, I have a shot at improvement and success. The outcomes are never guaranteed in running; the only guarantee is that running will continue to challenge me and change me in ways I never expect. Watch the video below to hear more about how running has changed , is changing, and will change me.
